Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
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