Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
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