I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
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