Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
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