Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
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