What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
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