What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
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