Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.