Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
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