What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
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