What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
Are you squiding me right now?
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Tis the sea-sun.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
My sister said I would never be able to make a beach pun.
Is seashore about that?
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Please excuse my resting beach face.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
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