What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
I'm like a cow in tall grass,
I'm utterly tickled to be here.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
I stopped my phones to the cloud, and I kept getting mist calls.
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