I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What is the best way for fungi to grow? You must give it as mushroom as possible!
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing it just waved.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
Tropic like it's hot.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
What happens when and ice cube gets angry?
It boils with anger, then lets off some steam.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
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