The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
My sister said I would never be able to make a beach pun.
Is seashore about that?
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
I'm like a cow in tall grass,
I'm utterly tickled to be here.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow? Nothing, it was feeling blue.
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What do you call a waffle laying on a beach?
Sandy eggo.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
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