My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
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