What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Don't get tide down.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
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