Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
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