What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Water you doing?
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
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