Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
My sister said I would never be able to make a beach pun.
Is seashore about that?
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
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