The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
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