If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
What is the best way for fungi to grow? You must give it as mushroom as possible!
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
Don't get tide-up in sorrows, you will only cry a river.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
Tropic like it's hot.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
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