Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It's mime blowing.
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