I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Sorry, I'm octopied.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
One time, while visiting a river town, my brother was hungry and I fed him freshly made stream buns.
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
Don't get tide down.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Whale, hello there.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
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