Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
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