If trees could kill you, they wood.
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
What do you call it when it's raining and the sun is shining but a rainbow doesn't come out? A refrainbow.
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
Beach, please.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Feeling fintastic.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Go to BabaMail
