What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
Avoid pier pressure.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
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