What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
Beach you to it.
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