Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Don't get tide down.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Avoid pier pressure.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
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