I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Girls just wanna have sun.
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
Sorry, I'm octopied.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
What do you call it when it's raining and the sun is shining but a rainbow doesn't come out? A refrainbow.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....
Plane english
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
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