Tis the sea-sun.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
Are you squiding me right now?
Don't get tide down.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
What is the best way for fungi to grow? You must give it as mushroom as possible!
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
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