What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Go to BabaMail
