What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
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