Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What do you call it when it's raining and the sun is shining but a rainbow doesn't come out? A refrainbow.
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?
A furricane
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
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