Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
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