What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
My sister said I would never be able to make a beach pun.
Is seashore about that?
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
The storm was sad so we called it the sigh-clone.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
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