Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
During the flood, most of our garden was underwater. I felt especially bad for the grass - it must have been grass-ping for air.
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
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