The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
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