What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
The book of psalms trees.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
I'm like a cow in tall grass,
I'm utterly tickled to be here.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
One time, while visiting a river town, my brother was hungry and I fed him freshly made stream buns.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
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