Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What is the color of the wind? Blew!
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
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