The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
Tropic like it's hot.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What do you call police obsessed with keeping good grass?
Lawn-Forcement
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It's mime blowing.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
What nature phenomenon is the funniest? A cyclown!
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
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