So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Tropic like it's hot.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
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