Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
My sister said I would never be able to make a beach pun.
Is seashore about that?
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Girls just wanna have sun.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
That crazy little sun of a beach.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
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