What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
Q: How do you store water?
A: Cloud storage.
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
What happens when and ice cube gets angry?
It boils with anger, then lets off some steam.
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What did the cow that was struck by lightning say?
I'm udderly shocked.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
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