Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
How do you cut the sea in half? With a see saw!
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What happens when and ice cube gets angry?
It boils with anger, then lets off some steam.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
Go to BabaMail
