What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Please excuse my resting beach face.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow? Nothing, it was feeling blue.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
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