Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
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