When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
One time, while visiting a river town, my brother was hungry and I fed him freshly made stream buns.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Tropic like it's hot.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
Why do dwarves live in mountains?
They dig it.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
Salty but sweet.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
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