What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
That crazy little sun of a beach.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
Sea you at the beach.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
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