What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
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