What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
I was fired from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic, so I smashed all their computers.
There’s no files on me.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
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