Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Sea you at the beach.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow? Nothing, it was feeling blue.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
I can sea clearly now.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
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