Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
Sea you at the beach.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
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