What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....
Plane english
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
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