There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
The ocean made me salty.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
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