Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
The storm was sad so we called it the sigh-clone.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Go to BabaMail
