What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It's mime blowing.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
When you get a rainbow after the rain at least you are moving in the bright direction.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Tropic like it's hot.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
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