What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?
A furricane
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Rivers are...
the original streaming service.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
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