A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
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