What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
Beach, please.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
Sea you at the beach.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
What did the cow that was struck by lightning say?
I'm udderly shocked.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
Don't get tide down.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
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