Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
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