What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Whale, hello there.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
I tried to make it to the end of the rainbow but didn't due to lilac of effort.
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
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