Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
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