Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
- You’re dead to me.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
Who babysits young Bigfoots?
Sasq-watcher.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
Go to BabaMail
