Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?
She looked really good afterworts.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
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