What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
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