Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
How do you shoot a three-headed ghoul?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Why aren't there more Bigfoot jokes?
There are, but they're really hard to find!
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
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