What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just...
Not Yeti.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
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