A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.