Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?
They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
What do you call a witch's spotless garage?
A broom closet.
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
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