What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
Witch you were here.
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
How do you shoot a three-headed ghoul?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
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