- Dad, where are the DVDs? Where's Shrek, I want to watch it.
- Somewhere ogre there.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
You can't ever get the attention of a vampire on Halloween. They're way too busy looking for their necks victim.
Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
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