Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
Werewolves love their fast food.
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
To have his ghoul bladder removed.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
What do you call a werewolf escapologist?
Hairy Houdini.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
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