How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What's the similarity between a sailor and a thief?
Both have a phobia for sirens.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
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