Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
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