This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
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