I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
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