Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
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