How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What's a werewolf healed from Lycanthropy?
Over the moon.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
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