Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
Come witch me to the party.
What do you call a cold werewolf?
A chilli dog.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
Werewolves love their fast food.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
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