Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
What do you learn in witch school?
Spelling.
Live to tell the tail.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
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