Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
Why don’t skeletons do well at sports?
Because they have no skin in the game!
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