Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
What is it called when a witch only casts spells that rhyme?
Poetry in Potion.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
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