What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
How do you shoot a three-headed ghoul?
Bang! Bang! Bang!
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
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