When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just...
Not Yeti.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
What did the ghost who crashed the Halloween party say? - I’m here for the boos!
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
What is the Abominable Snowman's favourite type of cup?
A yeti.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What do you call a witch's spotless garage?
A broom closet.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
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