The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
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