How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
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