Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
You can't ever get the attention of a vampire on Halloween. They're way too busy looking for their necks victim.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a pet dog?
A terrified postman.
Please wait, bewitcha in a minute.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just...
Not Yeti.
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Mommy, Mommy, what’s a werewolf?
Don’t worry about that honey and comb your face!
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
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