What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
How much does an elephant skeleton weigh?
Skele-tons.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
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