What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
Werewolves love their fast food.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
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