What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
What do you get when you cross a strict school teacher with a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
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