Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
Where do werewolves store their things?
In a were-house.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?
Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
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