What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What do you call a witch's spotless garage?
A broom closet.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
I’ve found that dressing up like this has truly been an en-witching experience.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
Why do ghosts like elevators? They raise their spirits.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog?
A blood hound.
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
What do you call it when witches are optimistic about the future?
Witchful thinking.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
What's the similarity between a sailor and a thief?
Both have a phobia for sirens.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
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