How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
Vampires are not even real. Unless you Count Dracula.
Why did the witch go to the doctor?
She had a dizzy spell.
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
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