Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
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