How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Mommy, Mommy, what’s a werewolf?
Don’t worry about that honey and comb your face!
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
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