What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
Why shouldn’t you grab a werewolf by its tail?
It might be the werewolf’s tail but it could be the end of you!
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
What’s a werewolf’s favorite nighttime story?
A hairy tail!
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
How does a goblin eat a hotdog?
By goblin it.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What’s a vampire bat’s favorite food?
I-scream!
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
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