A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
What is the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?
One is a hunted stag and one is a stunted hag!
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
What happens if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
Two ghosts were at a disco. One was having a fa-boo-lous time and the other wanted to boo-gie all night long!
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
Who turns the lights off on Halloween?
The light's witch.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
Mommy, Mommy, what’s a werewolf?
Don’t worry about that honey and comb your face!
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
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