What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
Werewolves love their fast food.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Where is the ghost going on holiday the next year? Lake Eerie.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
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