What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms?
He was very handy!
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
Live to tell the tail.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
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