When a big giant eel takes your hand for a meal...
...that’s a moray.
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail?
A Bloody Mary.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Vampires are too easy to play jokes on. Suckers.
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
Ghosts drop off their babies at the day-scare centre when they go to work.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
What's a goblins favorite dinner?
Ghoulash.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
How do ghosts take their eggs? Terri-fried.
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