What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
Please wait, bewitcha in a minute.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What do you call a dull ghost? Boo-ring!
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?
She looked really good afterworts.
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast?
Snap cackle n' pop
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
What do skeletons hate the most about the wind?
Nothing. It goes right through them.
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
Whats the distant cousin of the werewolf?
The way over therewolf.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
Who does a witch call for help with computer problems?
Hex Support!
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Who is the most famous French skeleton?
Napolean Bone-aparte.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
Werewolves love their fast food.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
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