What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What do you get when you cross a vampire bat and a computer?
Love at first byte.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
Why do ghosts and demons get along so well? Demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
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