What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
Did you know that ghosts call their true love their ghoul-friend?
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.
Have you heard about the Italian Bigfoot?
The spag-yeti.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What do you call a dad joke about skeletons?
A skele-pun!
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
What's the ghoul's favorite sauce?
Grave-y.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
Live to tell the tail.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Why did the skeletons stay out of the forest?
Because sticks and stones will break their bones.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
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