Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
Why was the skeleton scared of the baby?
Because he was an ankle biter.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
What does a vampire do after taking a shower?
It stands on a bat mat.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
If you see a ghost, you should always say, 'How do you boo?'
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
A vampire returned a mirror to my shop the other day. It wasn't faulty or anything, he just said he couldn't see himself using it.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
Who does a witch call for help with computer problems?
Hex Support!
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
Live to tell the tail.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
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