If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
Panda ghosts love to eat bam-boo.
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
What do witches' cats like to have for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
Who does a witch call for help with computer problems?
Hex Support!
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Why are Ghosts so lonely? They have nobody to lean on.
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
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