Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
Why couldn't the little witch read her spellbook?
It was written in curse-ive.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
Sasquatch often gets mistaken for Bigfoot.
Yeti never complains.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
What do you get when you cross a ghoul with an owl?
Something that scares people and doesn’t give a hoot!
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
A barber, a hairdresser, and Bigfoot walk into a bar...
You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
- Will you marrow me?
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
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