Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a light snack!
Why did the skeleton have to testify in court?
Because he was a body of evidence.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music?
A hip-ster.
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place - Forever 21.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
Why do ghouls like ice cream?
Because it’s ghoulilicous!
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
At the Italian restaurant, the ghoul ordered spook-ghetti for his main course.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
Because he had a bone to pick.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
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