What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What happens if a big ghoul steps on Batman and Robin?
They become flatman and ribbon!
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
How do old witches get good bargains?
They hag-gle.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
Please wait, bewitcha in a minute.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What do ghosts use to keep their hair in place? Scare-spray!
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
You will never see a vampire betting on the horses. They can't handle the stakes.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
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