What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?